Joy walker

    …get a car or get of the road!

    I don’t usually side with mopo (the mobile police) but I was filled with inexplicable glee, the other day, as they rounded up people who where crossing the road in spite of oncoming traffic.

    There is a new breed of road hazard much dumber than okada drivers and they are called pedestrians. While the worst behavior I have observed have been carried out by men, women are not the exception. I saw an obviously preggers teen walking around in the rain in bad traffic as if she where in her own living room.
    Like this young boy who cut me off the other day. I’m not sure what his mother was on when she had him but he is clearly an idiot as a result. I know this because he was wearing a sweater vest. He wasn’t wearing a uniform from a private school, therefore there is no way he was coming from an air-conditioned classroom. Meaning that his decision to wear said vest in this Lagos heat was for fashion purposes. Turing insult to injury this juvenile gestured for me to slowdown and began to cross before I even thought about decelerating. Mind you he had ample time to cross before I got there but I guess he wanted to poison my eyes with his vest monstrosity which FYI did not match his uniform (There is no eye drop in the ‘verse that can erase the sight of his purple/green sweater vest against his cream/red uniform) Had it been that time of the month that boy would have become paste.
    Obviously the road is public domain, but in a quest to follow the chicken across the road these people have become headless chickens. We already know that most Lagos drivers are homicidal. Why tempt us. Please, please, PLEASE: look both ways, use your walkways and if you cut across traffic make it snappy. The streets not your catwalk.
    This public service announcement has been brought to the good people of Gidi by the Don’t-be-a-maga corp. Seriously! Forget who born you people will start singing the ‘who killed the maga’ remix.

4 thoughts on “Joy walker

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