Joy walker

    …get a car or get of the road!

    I don’t usually side with mopo (the mobile police) but I was filled with inexplicable glee, the other day, as they rounded up people who where crossing the road in spite of oncoming traffic.

    There is a new breed of road hazard much dumber than okada drivers and they are called pedestrians. While the worst behavior I have observed have been carried out by men, women are not the exception. I saw an obviously preggers teen walking around in the rain in bad traffic as if she where in her own living room.
    Like this young boy who cut me off the other day. I’m not sure what his mother was on when she had him but he is clearly an idiot as a result. I know this because he was wearing a sweater vest. He wasn’t wearing a uniform from a private school, therefore there is no way he was coming from an air-conditioned classroom. Meaning that his decision to wear said vest in this Lagos heat was for fashion purposes. Turing insult to injury this juvenile gestured for me to slowdown and began to cross before I even thought about decelerating. Mind you he had ample time to cross before I got there but I guess he wanted to poison my eyes with his vest monstrosity which FYI did not match his uniform (There is no eye drop in the ‘verse that can erase the sight of his purple/green sweater vest against his cream/red uniform) Had it been that time of the month that boy would have become paste.
    Obviously the road is public domain, but in a quest to follow the chicken across the road these people have become headless chickens. We already know that most Lagos drivers are homicidal. Why tempt us. Please, please, PLEASE: look both ways, use your walkways and if you cut across traffic make it snappy. The streets not your catwalk.
    This public service announcement has been brought to the good people of Gidi by the Don’t-be-a-maga corp. Seriously! Forget who born you people will start singing the ‘who killed the maga’ remix.

Pay the toll

The toll

    I remember all the speculation when they first broke ground on Ozumba badiway (or whatever its called that?) That patch of the expressway past the Orient Hotel but before The Palms. It was such a pain getting out of Lekki. Then there was the whole mystery aspect. What was being built? I remember falling into the category of people who though (hoped) a bridge was being built, but totally expected to get hosed. My fellow hopefuls and I have long since reconciled ourselves to our disappointment. It is a tollgate, and just what the doctor ordered (Not!) I mean we defiantly needed the multiple lanes and the wider, smoother roads but silly me I just thought it was my right as a taxpayer. Please someone tell Jennifer that “I dey pay my taxes Oh!” So why the bloody toll?
    Just seeing the hordes of people that use the expressway multiple times a day must have put naira signs in someone’s eyes. Blinded is more like it. Such a person would hold up well at a press conference:

So what exactly is the reason for the toll?
To pay for its construction.
And how long will that take?

Considering administrative costs, construction cost and agreed upon payments our rumblings of N200 multiplied by the gazillion cars that use the express daily we expect a quick turnaround on our investments.

Then what?
I guess we’ll think of that when we get there. (Whispers)Maybe a nest egg for me.

What nefarious plotting is this?
No comment!

    Generally speaking people pay the barest minimum at tolls. i.e the 25 cents toll I sometimes pass in Atlanta. I’m not even saying we pay in kobo. That would create a mad dash of people searching for these obsolete coins and others selling them for N5. Instead shouldn’t the toll reflect our current standard of living?
    Especially in this case where there is no other route to take. I think people would appreciate the choice to go another way even if it is slightly longer to avoid this toll but there isn’t any (I should note that I’m not great with roads but I did the due diligence of asking all the gidi road experts and they were all stomped.)

    Finally I regret to make reference to this but is this how they plan to support the N30 million a month pay that the members of senate are “requesting” (yes those) Matching on the House of Reps is never the solution except in this case. But that’s another matter entirely.


not a bridge

Cry, my beloved country!

    With no more aftershocks occurring and fewer people being found alive, things may be stabilizing for Haiti. The 25th anniversary of ‘we are the world’ will ensure more finical aid towards the redevelopment of Haiti. A month since January 12th has seen aid workers and their aid out of the airport. All I can really do for them now is pray for more effective, even and timely distribution of said aid. This is all I can do mainly because I am in Nigeria. Within the first few days after the disaster I had received information on how to help. That was quickly rebutted as a scam. Since then other organizations have come forward but they all carry the stink of the first’s rebuff. No one will give anything till such matters are resolved.
    Besides we are busy dealing with our two great achievements of 2010. On the one hand we have managed to survive the longest fuel lines possibly since the opening of the very first gas station. On the other hand, we have yet another longest. The longest period of time a country has been ruled by a president who remains MIA. Like we knew he was not really an action guy to begin with but at least then we had a constant visual to confirm signs of life. On both matters I am waiting for the Guinness book of world records to get back to me.

    Rumors continue to circulate as his supports and critics continue to throw in their two cents. If he has been released from the hospital, why isn’t he back? why did the delegation of ministers who went to see him return without doing so? Amidst rumors that his wife has ascended the throne taken over his duties. The legal heir representative of the people Vice president Goodluck has finally gotten the all clear to assume presidential duties

    In all this the Nigerian people remain their muttering yet docile selves. Sure a murderous, religious rampage threatened to devour Jos, but no one seems to really care. After the Christmas incident everyone was quick to say how Nigerians are not terrorists, but what does it mean when we accept extreme abuse in our jobs and from our government who deny us our basic right, but rise up when religious tensions flare? I accept the fact that we need to pray for Haiti but someone, could you, please pray for Nigeria?